


My Demons

by charmed_seconds



Series: Pisces and Scorpio [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Chronic Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Keith Introspective, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Song Inspired, hurt keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 01:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmed_seconds/pseuds/charmed_seconds
Summary: He tried to keep them at bay. Keep them quiet and tucked away in the corner of his head. In moments of weakness, their malicious words caused dents in his well-formed armor. Even bound in chains, they were strong and struggled against him constantly. Wanting to get out. To devour him whole. It was a constant battle and one that he grew weary of at times.Demons are hell to battle, even for someone who is as skilled in fighting them as Keith. They're constantly there and at times, Keith wants to give up, but thankfully, his angel is always there.





	My Demons

**Author's Note:**

> **Trigger Warnings : Some wording can be seen/interpreted that Keith is/was suicidal or dealing with self-harm. Please read at your own comfort. Keith in this story is dealing with Chronic Depression. Once again, read at your own comfort. Thank you!**
> 
>  
> 
> This was inspired by the song "My Demons" by Starset.

He tried to keep them at bay. Keep them quiet and tucked away in the corner of his head. In moments of weakness, their malicious words caused dents in his well-formed armor. Even bound in chains, they were strong and struggled against him constantly. Wanting to get out. To devour him whole. It was a constant battle and one that he grew weary of at times.  
Looking in the mirror was part of it. Tired, pained purple eyes gazed back at him, wordlessly pleading for salvation.  
On his bad days, Keith almost wanted them to eat him. 

On those days, he climbs into the shower and simply lets the water cascade down his lithe body. As if the scalding water could wash the demons from his soul. He would turn his face into the water, the burn comforting in some sadistic way as it mixed in with the tears that fell from his eyes. Underneath the spray, he would listen to the demons. Let them out to play for a bit in an area that he could hide the pain they caused. 

In his youth, loud, harsh bangs would cause him to hurry out of the shower. Showers were something that had to quick. Multiple children had to take them and the hot water wasn’t infinite.

In the Garrison, he had too many eyes. Too many things to do. Too many assignments to accomplish and an angel that he wanted to keep on his shoulder. He saw salvation in a pair of gray eyes and a kind smile. He wanted to keep him close for without him, Keith was afraid that his demons would win. 

Then the year of Hell came. He never knew how to he came out on the other side of that year alive. 365 days trickled by, every day, the demons grew stronger. Their words grew harsher. Their damage was more evident. Sleepless nights were his best friends and so were theirs. Underneath the moonlight, he dreamed of a day where he awoke and tear tracks didn’t make his skin taut. He longed for a day that he didn’t feel like crawling out of his skin because he was tired of the demons tearing at it. 

Then bliss happened. 

Bliss and horror. 

He came back but he also came back with his own demons. Demons that were seemingly larger and more damaging than the one that Keith harbored. He wanted to comfort his angel, heal him like he couldn’t heal himself. For a while, that obsession pushed his own demons to the side, chained them better than ever before. Plus, he had other things to worry about.

A war.

A new heritage.

A new family. 

He tried to strengthen the chains that bound his demons for them. His new, makeshift kin that was brought together by chance - by 5 metal lions and a war-torn universe. Their unknown comfort, their presence helped in keeping the demons subdued while they flew together. Without them, their love, he wouldn’t have made it through the times that his angel was gone. When he walked away from them, he did it for them. He weakened his chains, he opened up that opportunity for them to eat him, so his family could flourish without him. 

Only to come back with the news that his angel was a demon-in-disguise. Looking into those familiar gray eyes as he struggled against the blade, confessed a feeling he’s been squashing for so long, was the first chip into the chain. 

Returning to the planet where his demons came from, going back to a place that held so many memories, added chips. The demons grew stronger. Their words became more spiteful. Days where his eyes opened, he longed to close them once more. Showers lengthened and the tears returned. He watched with hooded eyes as his found family reunited with their own. 

He knew the words that the demons were whispering were false. 

But they kept circling him.

Trying to break him. 

Habits that he thought were gone came back slowly. Nervous ticks. Quietness. Hiding away. 

On a cliffside, he looked at the stars and the moon; remembering his younger self, standing outside of his childhood home, gazing up at them. He heard himself tell his father that he wanted to fly up there. To see the stars and planets. 

He achieved his dream. 

He should be happy. 

But the demons were overtaking him. 

Tears trickled down from the corners of his eyes. 

The chains were breaking and his demons were coming out. Melding with him. Washing away all of the colors he gained since he met his angel. 

He could feel them taking over and he didn’t know if he could fight any longer. 

He’s fought for so long. 

Arms wrapped around him, his eyes widening. They were familiar. The chest behind him -- the body, scent, whispered voice -- was familiar. He didn’t realize he was shaking until he reached down and touched one of the thick arms that were wrapped around his waist. He could feel his angel’s lips whispering words into his neck. A broken sob came from him, his knees giving out. 

His angel fell with him, cradling him close. A hand drifted up and cupped the back of his head. He couldn’t help but turn and smother his face into his angel’s chest. The demons were winning. He didn’t want them to win. He needed his angel. His savior. 

“Don’t let me go.” he pleaded, his fingers grasping his angel’s shirt.

“Never, Keith.” was his angel’s whispered promise, “Never.”

Keith sobbed, his pain slowly ebbing away, wrapped in his angel’s arms. The chains slowly rebuilding, his demons becoming bound once more. He gazed up into gray eyes, tears still falling from his own. He sniffled when he felt lips press against his forehead as if his angel could heal all the pain within it with a simple gesture. And he longed for that to be true. That with a mundane kiss that his demons would be vanquished. 

But that was fairy tale stuff. 

And he sadly lived in reality. 

His angel was a mere mortal that held him close and soothed the wounds the demons dealt but as he looked into his angel’s soft, kind gray eyes, Keith couldn’t help but think that Shiro could save him from becoming his demons.


End file.
